Today while I was watching a segment on CBS Sunday Morning I began to cry.  For today is Mother’s Day and my mother left this earth over 13 years ago on January, 3rd 2004.  I miss her very much.  I wish she could see where I am today and the woman I have become.  Please do not say “She knows” and “She can see you” and “She is with you”.  I don’t want to hear that.  I want her sitting beside me on my patio, drinking a cup of coffee and watching the river flow by.  I want to introduce her to my friends that I have made here in my new home.  To ask her what she thinks about this blog.  You see, besides being a mom Doris Kirby was also a writer.  Words were her work as she used to say.  She wrote for the Babylon Beacon, served as  Public Information Officer for the Town of Babylon and Town of Oyster Bay, Director of Communication for Nassau County Legislator Peter Schmidt and Community Aide for Senator Carl Marcellino.  My mom was also passionate about saving our beaches and on many occasions she brought me down to Gilgo beach to plant beach grass to help save the dunes, which was surprising being she didn’t swim.  Mom learned to love gardening and it showed in our home in North Babylon as well as her town house in Smithtown.  We would stay up late and watch horror movies, but nothing like todays movies.  Our picks would be Children of the Corn, Night of the Living Dead, The Blob and any thing with Vincent Price!  We’d make popcorn with our Orville Redenbacher hot air popper and melt butter to top it off.  Mom loved M & M’s and Toffifay and back in the day she used to drink Tab.   I think the thing I miss most about my mom is her laugh.  When I belly laugh real hard I hear my mom’s laugh in me.

Mom at her townhouse in Smithtown

Those are mom’s garden shoes under the chair

I think the thing that upset me the most earlier is the fact I don’t have any pictures of my mom.  When I had my house in N.Y. I had tons of pictures, in bins and boxes but now I seem to have none.  As I am writing this piece I wanted to include pictures so I started looking through the closet for them, but none were there.  I am not sure where they went.  This is of extra concern being that my memory is horrible.  No, I mean really, really bad.  Like something is missing from my brain.  Donna is always says as long as I don’t forget her and then I respond with “I promise I won’t Darlene.”   If it wasn’t for my sister Kelly reminding me of our childhood and early adulthood memories I wouldn’t have many at all.  You are probably thinking “What happened to this poor soul for her to have no memories?”.  No trauma, with the exception of that one time when I was a baby that the legs of my bassinet collapsed on the left side and I slumped down into the corner.  Besides that nothing out of the ordinary that would cause my life to be a blur.  I love walking into someone’s home and their walls are covered in photos.  For that shows me who they love and where they’ve been.  And if I happen to be in one of those photos all the better.  We have a sofa table, that was mom’s, that we have a handful of family photos out on.  Donna’s paternal & maternal grandparents as well as my grandmother & mom.  It makes my heart happy to see these photos, reminding us of where we came from.

Recently Donna decided to send off her spit with the Ancestry DNA kit to find out about her heritage.  I said I wasn’t really interested in it but I think I’ve changed my mind.  Normally I am not one to ask questions but suddenly I am intrigued.   Who, what, when, where?  Spit away Kirby, spit away and let’s find out where you’re from…